During 2016-2020, I wrote a few stories in my Patreon reacting to the events around me. I decided to unlock one of them that I read at events that folks have been asking where they can point people to it. I decided to just unlock it here, as it’s not included in any of my other collections.
The story is The Emperor and His Totally Amazing, Awesome Clothes and can be found at the link, here’s the opening scene. If you enjoy it, spread the link around, consider supporting the website via Patreon here at the link.
I don’t want to say that Hans Christian Anderson didn’t tell the whole story. Hans was a noble collector of tales handed down from generation to generation all throughout the countryside. But one has to understand some of the complications with the narrative as it’s been picked up and remembered.
There are many claims to the truth of this story, and, as a scribe, it is my duty to head out and collect them. After spending several weeks canvassing the countryside, I submit this report to you in earnest.
We begin with the initial core story that you may well be familiar with, and it is this:
Many years ago, there was an emperor so vain and fond of new clothes that he spent all his money being well dressed. One day two swindlers came to town and let it be known that they could weave the greatest fabric in all the world. In fact, it was so fine that only those people who were stupid or unworthy of their positions could not see it.
The emperor, dazzled by the idea of dressing in the finest thread in all the world, allowed the swindlers, who pretended to weave the cloth but were really holding empty air, to trick him into making him a fine new outfit.
Then he paraded himself through town, as his courtiers and officers held empty air, pretending it was the train of his gown.
It was a child that pointed at the emperor—a child cloaked in the innocence of their age—who cried out, “that man has no clothes on!”
That’s roughly what everyone remembers, and to tell the story again, it seems like the spell is broken. The high, unworldly clarion call of the child pierces the entire sham and shatters it. The emperor is shamed, and tries to carry on down the street, but knows the truth of it all.
But that’s not how the real world works, is it?